Banango Lit

I didn’t read this aloud like Ana asked on the first page, and it felt so much more personal that way. It felt like reading a confused Facebook narration from a college boyfriend—someone struggling to get along, get by, be loved in a meaningful way by someone who matters. Needless to say, I liked it a lot.

This is not to say I think Ana Carrete is a great poet, or even a good one. But what “pinky promise me this” lacked in fluidity and strength it makes up for tenfold in emotion, honesty, feel. As far as I can tell, feel is what this poem is about, how it feels to be in an okay relationship and still be struggling with what you want. How you get distracted day to day, thinking about Mariah Carey, a hundred other things. How it always comes back around to love.

But what Carrete forgets is that the day-to-day thoughts of an average person are almost entirely boring, at least to the outside observer. “pinky promise me this” is full of funny colored fonts and weird spacings and some funky mirroring I don’t even know, all drawing attention to meaningless little things. At first it was charming, highlighting “like” at every repetition, a funny testament to the idiosyncrasies of conversational English—but by the end I was annoyed.  Youtube links in a poem throw off my groove; repetition of meaningless song lyrics is just another thing to skim over.  As much as I appreciate the mundane this was just a little bit too much.

And yet and yet and yet. Despite these flaws (and they are sizeable!) by the end of “pinky promise” I felt a little floored, a little in love. Carrete is careful to not identify her lover in the first half; in the second she seeks the love of the universal “you.” I feel like she’s just bared her frustrations to me and then asked if I love her—the answer is yes, no, ask me again tomorrow after I’ve slept. Ana, you’re charming, but I still don’t know what to make of you.

Always in my life I’m on the lookout for lines, strings of words that jump out and grab me by my hair. And despite its flaws “pinky promise” has one so simple and so perfect that it sticks.

“thank you for loving me in your dream / i’m sure i loved you back”

So, go read this, you can find it here. Maybe read it aloud. Maybe turn on Anatomy of Frank and shout over it. See if it makes you feel better, more honest. Tell me if it does.