Banango Lit

By peterbd.

This is known as the ‘backdoor’ way of getting your name out there. Well done, peterbd. Consider our interest piqued, if it wasn’t already.

200. it’s name sounds cool
199. you’ll be cool for reading it
198. if you decide not to read it you’ll be uncool which is lame
197. reading it will make you smarter
196. reading it will make you happier
195. reading it is a good way to start your day
194. if you read it while drinking coffee in the morning you’ll be happy you did this while getting smarter as an added bonus
193. reading it is fundamental
192. only important people read it so if you read it you’ll be an important person too
191. it’s fun to read to strangers
190. it’s fun to read to strangers who never got the opportunity in life to be important
189. it goes down easy
188. it’s an easy read 
187. reading it while drunk is kinda easy
bonus 187. after a night of drinking it’s still easy to read
186. it’s the only thing you’ll read that’ll cure your hangover
185. it’s one of the best sites online
184. it gives hope to seasoned journalists/poets/writers that the younger generation will carry the torch nicely
183. reading it will make you more worldly
182. its name just sounds like you should read it. so read it
181. its founders are very important people in regards to being able to maintain their ‘people who are important’ levels without trying
180. reading it will bring you closer to god if you’re into that sorta stuff
179. you can read it in times of sadness
178. you can read it in times of euphoria
177. you can read it in times of extreme euphoria
176. you can read it in times of solitude
175. you can read it to your siblings
174. if you don’t have any siblings, you can read it in solitude and it will make you feel better about being siblingless
173. it’s rad
172. it’ll make you feel warm inside
171. if it was a food, it would probably be a delicious food
170. it’ll inspire you to be a better you
169. if you are a coke head, it probably is a really good read while on a coke binge
168. it’s fun to read when you’re lonely
167. if you read it while watching fox news it’ll make fox news more tolerable to watch
166. people all over the world love it
165. you will be loved if you read it
164. beautiful people read it
163. you’ll probably be looked at as beautiful if you read it
162. it contains beautiful prose
161. the writers of it are not only beautiful on the inside but on the outside as well which is so much more important
160. it’s just all around fucking beautiful
159. my best friend likes it
158. it has an aura of sophistication to it
157. it’s future is bright
156. it is the future of online literature
155. only sophisticated muthafucas in the future will be reading it
154. if your mother appreciates fine online literature she will enjoy it
153. it won’t give your computer/laptap/smartphone a virus
152. it is better than the carter IV
151. dwayne cater knows in his heart that it is far superior to the carter IV
150. reading it means you’re not a loser
149. it makes shitty music better
148. it makes shitty parents tolerable
147. it makes shitty weed better
146. it makes the shitty economy better
145. it makes rainy days better
144. pretty sure it’ll improved your libido
143. it makes shitty lectures better
142. it makes shitty people tolerable
141. it makes taking a shit tolerable
140. it’s good shit to read while not giving a shit about shit talkers who are pieces of shit
139. it’s playful
138. it doesn’t play any games
137. it doesn’t take any shit
136. reading it will give you enlightenment on various subjects (i.e. the bible)
135. saying its name over and over is fun
134. if you read it, lauryn hill will finally make a second record
133. if you read it, your dreams will come true
132. elderly people enjoy it being read to them before supper
131. it’s a conversation starter that makes the start of a convo less awkward
130. pretty sure if winston churchill was still alive he would enjoy it profusely
129. the site looks clean and pretty
128. if you attend church regularly, it’s a good substitute for reading scripture
127. the site is not jarring to the eyes
126. it will inspire you to finally finish that mfa
125. it’s a great substitute if for some reason porn is unavailable
124. dwayne carter wish he came up with its name
123. if you strive to be a better human being it’s suggested you read it at least 4.5 times a day
122. animals who can talk dig it
121. if you like taking showers with your laptop/smartphone, it’s fun to read while taking a shower
120. oprah winfrey now has time to read it since the ‘oprah winfrey show’ is no longer on the air
119. it’s a good substitute for vitamin d
118. oprah winfrey can now watch it with stedman since she has more free time now
117. stedman always has free time so of course he reads it 8.5 times a day
116. if you watch a scary film, reading it afterwords will cure you of wanting to sleep with the lights on
115. it has tenacity
114. it has gusto
113. it has spirit
112. it has to be one of the most exciting things to read after getting into a fist fight
111. it has an original voice
110. if it could sing it would have a better voice than whitney houston had in her prime
109. it has evolved into something wonderful
108. it’s so relaxing to read after a hard work out
107. if evolution exists it will probably evolve into the greatest literature magazine of all time
106. you can read it while in the park
105. you can read it while your girlfriend or boyfriend parks the car
104. you can read it while watching a ‘not so great’ episode of parks & recreation
103. you can read it while parking your ass on your favorite recliner
102. you can read it while thinking about taking a much needed run in the park
101. you can read it while at the t in the park festival 
100. you can read it in jurassic park during your hiding from jurassic park dinosaurs downtime
99. by 2012 everybody and they mama is gonna be reading it
98. you don’t want to look like a fool now that you know everybody will be reading it (including mamas)
97. it made a name for itself without trying
96. if something is boring you on netflix, you can read it while that boring movie, documentary etc. plays in the background
95. it’s fashionable
94. it wants nothing but the best for you
93. martians who like online literature dig it
92. the cold temperatures don’t seem as cold since reading it
91. one of it’s fresh, new and promising young  writers wrote WSIWP which was probably the most relevant chapbook of 2011
90. along with redbull, it will give you wings
89. it’s fun to read while watching people have sex on ‘the tudors’ (they have so much sex on that show you guys. so much)
88. it’s a party starter
87. it will inspire you to not give up on your day
86. if it was in human form it would be your witty best friend
85. it’s fun to read on the beach
84. it’s fun to read while meditating if you can do both at the same time
83. if you name your future child banango your future child will probably be an uber popular child
82. if your addicted to crack, wean yourself off of crack while reading banango
81. ghosts love it
80. witches love it
79. zombies love it
78. demons love it
77. i’m sure one of the members of fleet foxes loves it
76. ghosts who bang witches and kill zombie loving demons who hate on fleet foxes love it
75. it will cure you of insanity
74. it will be a good influence on your writing
73. it’s on the internet so it already has some sort of legitimacy
72. it will become your favorite thing to read on the internet
71. before the world ends in 2012, reading it before you perish will increase your chances of getting into heaven by 75%
70. it makes the world a safer place for creative beings
69. if you enjoy making long ass lists, knowing that it’s a good website will give you the drive and determination to complete your long ass list
68. if your a rapper it will make you more lyrical
67. it’s easier to navigate through than the huffington post which everyone agrees needs to lessen its content and become more navigable
66. big bird digs it
65. tea + banango = a kickass time
64. if you make the mistake of listening to top 40 radio and your ears begin to bleed, reading it will stop the bleeding
63. no one hates it
62. the nba lockout is still going on because it’s afraid of banango’s power
61. it strives to not suck ass
60. it succeeds day in and day out in not sucking ass
59. britney spears will probably shave her head again in it’s absence (and of course no one wants to see her shaved head again)
58. you can never get tired of reading it
57. if you get tired of reading it you probably need a lobotomy
56. if you’re still tired of it after your lobotomy then drowning yourself in your local river is the only option left
55. if your current surroundings are riverless and you still are tired of reading it, drowning yourself in your bathtub suits just fine
54. if you’re an atheist, after reading it you’ll be a more relevant atheist
53. the doctor’s office will be more bearable now that you don’t have to read other banango-less literature
52. it would take a nation of millions to hold it back
51. if malcolm x was alive today, pretty sure he’d shed a tear due to its greatness
50. it’s awe inspiring
49. if someone you know has never heard of it you can be the first to let them know about it
48. when that someone starts reading it, you can rub it in their face that you were ‘up on that banango shit’ way before them
47. you can go to bed feeling great about your lit cred while still knowing things before your friends
46. it’s a reliable source of information
45. reading it while listening to old linkin park songs will aid in reminiscing about simpler times
44. the world will never be the same because of it
43. when you’re exhausted it will give you that extra kick to not be exhausted 
42. when nothing makes sense in life it will always make sense
41. it doesn’t pretend to be somethings it’s not
40. it was created for you to like even though liking it is fairly easy
39. intellectuals like it
38. middle school dropouts like it
37. people who don’t believe in anything like it
36. people who believe in alien abductions like it
35. loving it is your right as a human being
34. it paved the way for me to strive to be as relevant as i can
33. it paved the way for others to strive for relevancy
32. it’s gangster as fuck
31. one of its writers’ last name is hyman which is such a beautiful last name
30. miss hyman’s  writing is has beautiful as her last name
29. miss hyman is the most mysterious woman online which makes her writing and presence all the more relevant
28. reading it will guide you through the trenches of writing college papers
27. reading it will give you a reason to say fuck it to writing college papers and start writing your own shit
26. it’s not gimmicky
25. it worries those who can’t figure out how it stays interesting without using gimmicks
24. nuns dig it
23. if you have the misfortune of having a long hospital stay, reading it will make the hospital stay an incredible fucking hospital stay
22. it will never be like mtv
21. how you feel when you get paid is how you will feel every time there’s a new banango post
20. if you hate the internet, this will make you kinda like the internet
19. it’s current
18. reading it means you have good character regarding current online literature
17. if it had a sound, it would probably sound like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcKy2Ghz3vY
16. it’s read in other galaxies
15. people in other galaxies dig it
14. reading it will give you a confident attitude
13. reading it will give you tips on how to improve your writing
12. reading it will hype you up before a debaucherous night on the town
11. reading it is a good thing you guys
10. smart kids get it the gist of it
9. one of its writers is more powerful than dwayne and shawn carter combined
8. he doesn’t even know how powerful he is which makes him and his site all the more powerful
7. miss hyman’s mystery + mister carter’s powerfulness + the chapbook relevance of WSIWP and its writer = online lit heaven
6. online lit heaven is only reserved for a select few. so reading it guarantees you a spot in online lit heaven
5. it’s kinda funny
4. it’s kinda witty
3. the original steve from blues clues digs it
2. if you made it this far you can read it for free without its usual surcharge http://banangolit.tumblr.com/
1. it’s nice to read whenever you feel like reading something nice